Waiting for the Shot.

For those of you who do not know, I am a veteran.  I do not specifically remember if I have addressed that fact before.  I spent approximately 100 months (a bit less than 8 1/2 years) in the Army as a 95B2LQ9QB.

For anyone not versed in the jargon of Military Occupational Specialties (MOS's), that was a Military Police (95B-which has been changed since I left the military), 2 (Sergeant), L (linguist), Q9 (Traffic Accident Investigator), QB (Spanish-central American).  Quite a mouthful, but rarely used in its entirety except on certain paperwork.  I spent approximately half (right around 50 months) of my enlistment living and working overseas: 27 months in Uijeongbu, South Korea, 17 months in Colon, Panama, and 6 months on deployment to Bosnia-Herzegovina.  I never minded going overseas, mainly since I never really saw myself traveling internationally too much on my own.  But I digress....

The point of this post is mostly to call out the extreme respect I have for veterans in general, and more specifically, those in the different branches' Special Operations groups (Rangers, Special Forces, PJ's, SEALS, Force Recon...).  I respect them because they do the job I could not (not from lack of ability, since I firmly believe I can do anything I set my mind to), but from lack of desire.

In this age of Reality TV, we have the opportunity to go "inside" the training of these Special Forces warriors.  While it make for intense and entertaining TV, I have no desire to live it (there was a time when I was in the Army where I considered it...I got over it fast).

Of all the individuals in the Spec Ops world (and military, in general), I have a great respect for the snipers.  The individuals who go out in 2-man teams and hide for hours and hours on end focused through the sights of the rifle, constantly analyzing and calculating variances based on the environment and how it will affect the trajectory of the package they are there to deliver. They lie there,  patiently waiting for the opportunity to gently squeeze the trigger and eliminate a threat.  My hat is off to you folks.

Before I get into trouble from my Spec Ops and sniper brethren, let me qualify the point I am about to make: You are not the devil, but Satan shares your skill set.

Intrigued?

Satan is a sniper.  He rarely conducts a full on frontal assault of his target.  He just watched and waits for the opportunity to strike.  I read this in (again, a Joyce Meyer) devotional recently.  I think it is very apt and something we should all take into consideration:

Satan is never in a hurry.  All he needs is an opportunity to inject unholy, self-centered thoughts into our heads.  If we don't kick them out, they stay.  And he can continue his evil, destructive plan.

There are 4 specific verses from the Bible I wish to share today in order to help us see this point.  First, 1 Peter 5:8 (KJV):

Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he may devour.

We must maintain an alertness to the fact that there will be attacks if we let our guard down.  So how do we combat this?

James 4:7 (KJV):

Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.

And, Ephesians 6:11 (KJV):

Put on the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil.

And, finally, Ephesians 4:27 (KJV) in the context from the post Anger Management (remember, Be ye angry and sin not...):

Neither give place to the devil.

Hmmm...I see a pattern here.  Verbs that require action.  Resist.  Put on.  We have to DO something to protect ourselves from attack.  An active defense and not passively waiting for assistance from God.  He WILL help you, but you HAVE TO DO SOMETHING to help yourself as well.  (I would encourage you to follow up in Ephesians 6 concerning the whole armor of God which will help you.)

Dearest Lord, thank you for helping me first understand that I have an enemy who is patiently waiting for the opportunity to pull the trigger.  Help me stay fully protected with the armor you provide.  Help me to fully submit to you and resist the devil.  Amen

Rejoice and be glad.

Anger Management

I think many people have the wrong impression of how a Christian is supposed to act.  They believe that a "good" Christian is all smiles, sunshine, puppy dogs, and rainbows all the time.  I think that is a very unfair expectation placed upon anyone.

If we were to study out the emotions of Jesus from the picture of His life we have through the Gospels, we would see a Man who wasn't just happy shiny.  Jesus wept (John 11:35).  Jesus was angry when He drove out the money changers from the temple (Matthew 21:12-13).  I am SURE He was exasperated when He had to explain to His disciples the meanings of many of the parables he used.  I am also pretty sure He was a relatively FUN guy, too, or He wouldn't have managed to hang out at the parties He went to with the sinners and tax collectors.

Jesus was an emotional guy.  So shouldn't we who claim His name also be allowed to display the full range of emotions?

Today, I am thinking a lot about anger.  The range from slightly perturbed through righteous indignation all the way to full on nearly homicidal (if I thought I could get away with it) Road Rage.

I struggle(d) with Anger Issues.  I will admit it.  What I find odd is that I can hardly remember much anger in my life as a child or teen.  Anger seems to have found me as an adult.  The darkest period of anger was during and immediately after my divorce.  And, yes, it continued for several years.

In hindsight, there was NO justification for my anger.  It was from a selfish point of view, "I can't believe she left ME," "How can she do this to ME?"  And looking at the reasons why from a neutral point of view now, I am surprised she stayed as long as she did.

Anyway, I was (am?) the kind of person who would not address issues at home. I had (have) a hard time putting words to my emotions, especially when I feel as though I need to be on the defensive (I always felt that way-not needing to-just a mechanism of defense from my youth). I would not speak my mind.  I would let the emotions fester inside until they would just explode in loud, charged conversations (yes, I would yell).  I have been known to throw things.  Even in my hottest moments, however, I was NEVER physically abusive (he justifies his poor behavior...).

That was then...  Now, I have a hard time keeping the words inside.  I lack a filter, I speak my mind and will do so regardless (mostly) of location.  I am trying to not keep things inside.  I am letting them flow out as they arise (or trying at least).  Not saying in all areas of my life I am filter free; I still struggle with one area, though it is becoming more free as the days pass and I realize I do not need to fear (1 John 4:18).

The important thing to remember is it is OK to be angry, Jesus was.  We just need to not sin in our anger nor hold on to it.  For in doing so, we allow Satan a foothold in our life.

Read Ephesians 4:26-27 (KJV):

Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath: Neither give place to the devil.

It is the not sinning part that will always be hardest, for it is a constant battle.  I am not saying that I become evil when angry, just that perhaps I am not as prone to love those who anger me.  And we are commanded to love one another (not just the people that we like).  By loving only those whom I am not mad at and failing to love those who may anger me, I am not following His command.  Partial obedience is total disobedience, ergo it is a sin...need to work on my loving.

Lord, help me to be more like You.  Allow me to display all emotions, but in a manner that is worthy of my walk with You, and does not do damage to the label "Christian."  

Rejoice and be glad.

And having done all, to stand.

"Satan is never in a hurry. All he needs is an opportunity to inject unholy, self-centered thoughts into our heads. If we don't kick them out, they stay. And he can continue his evil, destructive plan."

I am currently reading excerpts from the Battlefield of the Mind 14-day Bible reading plan by Joyce Meyer on lifechurch.tv's youversion Bible reading application. This little tidbit was part of the other morning's reading. It went straight to Evernote on the iPad.

It was a perspective I had never before considered. Satan has time to wait for us to get down. Then he can inject the thoughts into our heads when we are less likely to be able to resist.

Lesson from this? Oh, where to start...?

James 4:7 (KJV)

"Submit yourself therefore to God.  Resist the devil and he will flee from you."

Ephesians 6:12-18 (KJV) 

"For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places. Wherefore take unto you the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand. Stand therefore, having your loins girt about with truth, and having on the breastplate of righteousness; And your feet shod with the preparation of the gospel of peace; Above all, taking the shield of faith, wherewith ye shall be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked. And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God: Praying always with all prayer and supplication in the Spirit, and watching thereunto with all perseverance and supplication for all saints;"

Matthew 26:41 (KJV)

"Watch and pray, that ye enter not into temptation: the spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak."

I know for me, this is a battle since I (especially being out of work for medical reasons) am alone and have no accountability at home right now.  I need to integrate into a group of Godly men.  I am moving in that direction, and have made contact with several from work.

But that is usually the problem.  I prefer not to socialize with individuals from work when I am not at work.  I do not like the conversation to turn, as it always does, to work issues.  But it is not about my preferences...it is not about me at all.  It is the right thing to do:

Hebrews 10:24-25 (KJV)

"And let us consider one another to provoke unto love and to good works: Not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as the manner of some is; but exhorting one another: and so much the more, as ye see the day approaching."

I know what I am battling and I know how to fight it; now, all I have to do is remember to carry my sword.  And it never hurts to have back up in the area when the enemy shows up.

Husband, love your wives...

CAVEAT:  I am neither a biblical scholar  nor am I a relationship expert.  I have failed in both categories numerous times in my past.  {And, yes, I took the picture to the left. Thank you.}


There is a book that was popular a couple years ago, The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands by Dr. Laura Schlessinger. I am by no means promoting that book, as I have no idea what the contents are or how they align with Biblical principles of marriage and spousal relationships. I merely mention it because I always thought the title was interesting. As a man, I know I sometimes wish there was an instruction manual for caring for me, almost as much as I wish I had one for my wife. The one thing I have learned (ok, not the only thing, but a HUGE thing) from marriage:

Men and women are different.

Do I win the "Understatement of the Year" award for that bombshell? If I were a superhero, I could be Captain Obvious for loosing that gem on the world.

Even from the very beginning it was that way: man was made from dirt and woman from bone.

We have different ideas of how to handle things. We have different needs and desires. We are wired differently with our senses. In Ephesians 5, Paul instructs men and women very differently in how they are to love their spouses. It points to the differences between man and woman and caters to basic needs that each desires from a perspective of how they need to be loved.

I am going to concentrate on the man side of things since one of the main purposes of this blog is what I am learning/need to learn. I share because, perhaps, there is at least one other person who could be inspired, or more likely warned, from my journey.

Ephesians 5:25-29 (AMP)

"Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her, So that He might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the Word, That He might present the church to Himself in glorious splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such things [that she might be holy and faultless]. Even so husbands should love their wives as [being in a sense] their own bodies. He who loves his own wife loves himself. For no man ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and carefully protects and cherishes it, as Christ does the church."

Amplified Bible (AMP) Copyright © 1954, 1958, 1962, 1964, 1965, 1987 by The Lockman Foundation

My thoughts:

1. Husbands, love your wives: pretty straight forward command. We are supposed to love our wives.

2. as Christ loved the Church and gave Himself up for her: we are given more precise direction in the "How" we are supposed to love our wives. We should place her before us, we should be willing to sacrifice for her: sacrifice our time for her needs, our desires for hers, our comfort for hers...our everything to demonstrate how much we love and wish to care for our spouse.

3. So that He might sanctify her: two definitions of sanctify-to set apart to a sacred purpose or to religious use : consecrate, and to free from sin : purify. We need to set our wives apart from all other women. She needs to be ours alone, the one we worship (inasmuch as worship meaning "a reverent love and devotion"). Note the second definition of sanctify (to free from sin : purify). This implies we need to be concerned with her spiritual condition as well. We need to lead our wives spiritually.

4. having cleansed her by the washing of water with the Word: As a spiritual leader, we should involve our spouse in Bible study, helping her (and us) to remain in the Word and experience its cleansing power. [There is a deeper theological perspective on this phrase explained deeply and well here, but I am sticking to the more generalized interpretation.]

5.That He might present the church ti Himself in glorious splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing [that she might be holy and faultless]: do you feel a sense of pride when you are in public with your wife on your arm? You should. Jesus cleansed His bride so He could have her looking great when He presented her. Everything was in order and she was beautiful. We should ensure our wives have the opportunity to be beautiful (spiritually). She will always be beautiful in our eyes (physically).

6. Even so husbands should love their wives as [being in a sense] their own bodies: in this portion, I am glad for the Amplified text, without it the verse reads much differently to me: "love their wives as their own bodies." Well, to me that is unfair to her since for a very long time, I did not love my body or do much to take care of it. We need to treat our spouse as a part of who we are, not a separate entity. In Genesis, it says "the two shall become one" and "flesh of my flesh, and bone of my bone." We are one, if she is injured I am injured. If she hurts, I hurt.

7. For no man ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes it and carefully protects and cherishes it, as Christ does the church: Even if we have poor body image, we still go through the basic care of our body. We need to nourish (keep fed on a diet of the Word) our spouses. Nourishment also allows for growth, we should feed our spouses so they can grow into who God wants them to be. We need to carefully protect (jealously guard) our spouses. We spend more money, time, and energy protecting our "stuff" than we do our spouses. We need to ensure her well-being and safety, as well as surrounding her in a sense that she knows she is important to us. We need to cherish (to care for fondly : nurture; or to cling fondly or inveterately to) our spouses. I like the word "inveterately," it means "firmly established through long persistence." Should not our pursuit of our spouse be long and persistent? Especially, even after we have captured them! That is how Jesus loves the church, and the perfect example of how we [men] are meant to love our wives.

It is beautiful. It is perfect.

I am...

I am complete in Him Who is the Head of all principality and power (Colossians 2:10)

I am alive with Christ (Ephesians 2:5)

I am free from the law of sin and death (Romans 8:2)

I am far from oppression, and fear does not come near me (Isaiah 54:14)

I am born of God, and the evil one does not touch me (1 John 5:18)

I am holy and without blame before Him in love (Ephesians 1:4; 1 Peter 1:16)

I have the mind of Christ (1 Corinthians 2:16; Philippians 2:5)

I have the peace of God that passes all understanding (Philippians 4:7)

I have the Greater One living in me; greater is He Who is in me than he who is in the  world (1 John 4:4)

I have received the gift of righteousness and reign as a king in life by Jesus Christ (Romans 5:17)

I have received the spirit of wisdom and revelation in the knowledge of Jesus, the eyes of my understanding being enlightened (Ephesians 1:17, 18)

I have the power over all the enemy, and nothing shall by any means harm me (Mark 16:17, 18; Luke 10:17, 19)

I have put off the old man and have put on the new man, which is renewed in the knowledge after the image of Him Who created me (Colossians 3:9, 10)

I have no lack, for my God supplies all of my need according to His riches in glory by Christ Jesus (Philippians 4:19)

I can quench all the fiery darts of the wicked one with my shield of faith (Ephesians 6:16)

I can do all things through Christ Jesus (Philippians 4:13)

I show forth the praises of God Who has called me out of darkness into His marvelous light (1 Peter 2:9)

I am God's child-for I am born again of the incorruptible seed of the Word of God, which lives and abides forever (1 Peter 1:23)

I am God's workmanship, created in Christ unto good works (Ephesians 2:10)

I am a new creature in Christ (2 Corinthians 5:17)

I am a spirit being-alive to God (Romans 6:11; 1 Thessalonians 5:23)

I am a believer, and the light of the Gospel shines in my mind (2 Corinthians 4:4)

I am a doer of the Word and blessed in my actions (James 1:22, 25)

I am a joint-heir with Christ (Romans 8:17)

I am more than a conqueror through Him Who loves me (Romans 8:37)

I am an overcomer by the blood of the Lamb and the word of my testimony (Revelation 12:11)

I am a partaker of His divine nature (2 Peter 1:3, 4)

I am an ambassador for Christ (2 Corinthians 5:20)

I am part of a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a purchased people (1 Peter 2:9)

I am the righteousness of God in Jesus Christ (2 Corinthians 5:21)

I am the temple of the Holy Spirit, I am not my own (1 Corinthians 6:19)

I am the head and not the tail; I am above only and not beneath (Deuteronomy 28:13)

I am the light of the world (Matthew 5:14)

I am His elect, full of mercy, kindness, humility, and longsuffering (Romans 8:33; Colossians 3:12)

I am forgiven of all my sins and washed in the Blood (Ephesians 1:7)

I am delivered from the power of darkness and translated into God's kingdom (Colossians 1:13)

I am redeemed from the curse of sin, sickness, and poverty (Deuteronomy 28:15-68; Galatians 3:13)

I am firmly rooted, built up, established in my faith and overflowing with gratitude (Colossians 2:7)

I am called of God to be the voice of His praise (Psalm 66:8; 2 Timothy 1:9)

I am healed by the stripes of Jesus (Isaiah 53:5; 1 Peter 2:24)

I am raised up with Christ and seated in heavenly places (Ephesians 2:6; Colossians 2:12)

I am greatly loved by God (Romans 1:7; Ephesians 2:4; Colossians 3:12; 1 Thessalonians 1:4)

I am strengthened with all might according to His glorious power (Colossians 1:11)

I am submitted to God, and the devil flees from me because I resist him in the Name of Jesus (James 4:7)

I press on toward the goal to win the prize to which God in Christ Jesus is calling us upward (Philippians 3:14)

For God has not given [me] a spirit of fear; but of power, love, and a sound mind (2 Timothy 1:7)

It is not I who live, but Christ lives in me (Galatians 2:20)

Copyright © 2008 Joyce Meyer Ministries, Inc.

Pssst...and so are YOU (if you want to be).

Redeem the time...

Ephesians 5:15-17

"See that you walk circumspectly, not as fools but as wise, redeeming the time, because the days are evil.  Therefore do not be unwise, but understand what the will of the Lord is."

There are several things that stand out in this passage to me:

1. walk circumspectly- be "heedful of circumstances and potential consequences" to quote the definition of the word.  Think about what you are doing and the potential outcomes of your actions.  Simply put by 18th century English poet Alexander Pope (1688-1744) "Fools rush in where wise men fear to tread".
2. redeem the time [for the days are evil]-redeeming the time. Making the most of the time we have available.  Avoid idle time, for there is work to be done.  Get busy.  All of us have things that can easily turn a momentary distraction into a  long meandering bunny trail where we lose hours of our day.  Mine (primarily since I can get distracted easily) is television.  The mind numbing brain drain, especially watching science fiction or "true" science shows. I can lose a day if there is a marathon of a show I enjoy.  I need to redeem my time, for I have work to do.  The days will let me tangent, the days don't care what I accomplish.  The days just pass no matter what.  It is up to me to stay on track and do that which I need to do.
3. but understand the will of the Lord-to me, the scariest 5 words in the Bible "the will of the Lord." I have struggled with this concept as it relates directly to my life for a very long time.  What am I supposed to be doing? What is the purpose of my life? Am I on track, on a siding, or completely derailed? Then looking at Romans 12:2 [truncated a bit here] "...that good and acceptable and perfect will of God," I wonder if there are three levels of the will of God? Is there something I could be doing which gets a "that will do" response like skimming in just under the wire? Is there a "that's a bit better" course I could take? I want the perfect will course, to hear "well done My good and faithful servant." I want the smile and nod acknowledging I was right where He needed me when He needed me, that I followed His commands and accomplished the plans He had laid out for me.  I want to KNOW what course that is...!

I struggle for one reason: I get overwhelmed.  The year was 1987, I had just graduated from high school.  I was visiting my father in Texas between high school and heading to college.  I was attending a Christian youth summer camp.  During an evening service, the speaker Joe Strickland (can't forget the name for some reason) was preaching.  He stopped and looked at me and prophesied over me "you will do great and wonderful things for God."  Bit much to lay on an 18 year old baby Christian with little understanding of anything yet.

Kind of a big thing to have hanging over me these 25 years, especially with no feeling of direction as to what that may be or how to go about figuring it out.  

All I DO know is that I need to stay in the Word, live what I read, and not try to be an island unto myself.  I must allow others into my "world."  I need friends and family in my life.  As God said in Genesis 2:18, "It is not good that man should be alone."  Time to believe that!

Reboot

43 years, 2 months, and 3 days: Gone.

Today is the first day of the rest of my life; a life which is dedicated to reclaiming my family, my wife, and my health.

1. My family: for the past nearly 4 years, my four fantastic children have lived in Georgia and I have lived in NM and/or TX.  This must change, especially as the boys age.  They need a father in their life, they need me.
2. My wife: I made mistakes. Biggest mistake: I stopped trying to pursue her and gave up.  I lost hope that I could ever hold her in my arms again; that I could love her like she needs to be loved.  She completes me, I need her.  She deserves a much better me than she had before.
3. On June 4, 2012, I was notified there was something wrong with my innards based on an x-ray and a CT scan.  After a referral to an oncologist, I was diagnosed with Stage IV colon cancer which has spread to my liver.  My Dr. has "realistically" informed me that I will most likely be undergoing chemo therapy for the rest of my life.  I "realistically" have no problem with that, though it will get annoying in 20-30 years to still be dealing with this (joke).  I do not believe the statistics, I hold that there can be a dynamic reversal of the cancer based on prayer and belief.  I am claiming complete healing.

Ephesians 4:22-24 (NKJV)

"...put off, concerning your former conduct, the old man which grows corrupt according to the deceitful lusts, and be renewed in the spirit of your mind, and that you put on the new man which was created according to God, to true righteousness and holiness."

Too bad we, like a computer, cannot just reboot when we encounter a flaw in our operating.  Too often, I have seen a flash in my life of the "blue screen of death" which Microsoft users used to get quite often, only it was because I had erred.  Simply pressing the power button and conducting a reboot to get everything working right again would be nice.  So, here I go...

REBOOT!