Saturday, November 10, 2012
Surprised By Joy (and Pain)
Work has been very busy with multiple drug seizures and the discovery of a deceased person out in the middle of nowhere in our area. I worked about 20 extra hours last week and was running on fumes by the time my "days off" arrived.
This was a treatment weekend, so after getting off work on Thursday I drove to Midland to the hospice to rest before my early morning appointment. On Friday morning, I showed up early to treatment for my blood draw as is customary, then waited to see the Dr. Sadly, the Dr. gave me the news I dread: "blood counts are too low for treatment this week, so we will schedule for next week."
There are several reasons it bothers me when I get this news. First, I carefully arrange my work schedule to accommodate the treatment weekends without having to use sick leave. Now, I have to rearrange things and use some leave to make it to my next rescheduled treatment. Secondly, I can't understand the blood count issue. I do not feel sick, nor do I experience any issues with clotting or getting sick due to depressed platelets and white blood cells. I don't get it. I feel fine, even the fatigue issue hasn't been bad this week. The rejection from treatment did allow me to just chill out yesterday and rest. I caught up on sleep and watched some Netflix.
Tuesday was the funeral for a Border Patrol Agent who dies on duty last Friday. These situations always cause me to get emotional, even when I do not know the person. We are all a big family and it is hard to hear of a sibling passing suddenly from natural causes when they appeared to be hardy and healthy like so many of us.
I haven't been on line much due to the extra hours, but when I did get a chance finally today to catch up on some things. One thing I make a point to read is the Middle Places blog. Sure, I admit it is because my wife writes their Thursday posts every week, and I am deeply in love with her (and her writing). This week, she wrote about doubts caused by tough times. She has a way of making me cry and making me love her more and more each week. Stop by and check it out if you have the time.
Today, when I got home from Midland from the disappointing appointment, I was pleasantly surprised to see someone had cut my grass for me. I was planning to do so upon returning home, but this allowed me a chance to do other things to prepare for the arrival of my wife and kids on Monday. Thank you who ever you are!!!
As I just said, Monday my wife and kids are scheduled to arrive here for several weeks (through Thanksgiving and my last chemo treatment whenever that will be). I am very excited for this visit. I NEED them with me. It gives me joy and I have missed them for so long. Even though I have been very blessed to see them often this year, it is never enough until they are with me forever again. Additionally, I am hoping to remarry my wife while they are here. It is the plan anyway. I REALLY NEED her in my life since she is my rock, my sanctuary, my peace. I love her!