|Kudzu vine envelopes everything|
in its path.
Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself, except it abide in the vine; no more can ye, except ye abide in me. I am the vine, ye are the branches: He that abideth in me, and I in him, the same bringeth forth much fruit: for without me ye can do nothing.It really struck a chord. I realized how often in my life I did not "abide" in Christ. I would hit the road block or suffer some sort of emotional turmoil which would cause temporary blindness. Not physical blindness, mind you, but spiritual blindness. I would depart from the narrow path and do my own thing. This would eventually turn south and I would repent and struggle back to where I needed to be. Sometimes it would go so far south, I would be running back.
I have no excuses for my actions. Really, are there any? It ALL comes down to choices. I, when left to my own desires, will make poor choices. While I do not know what the actual statistic to back this up is, I would put it in the high 90% range. I, when living my life for me, am powerless to do otherwise.
Trying to 12-step my way back to "normal," behavioral modification theory, self-help books...nothing works for me.
BUT THERE IS HOPE!!!
Notice the last seven words of the passage above, "for without Me, you can do nothing." THAT is the solution to my dilemmna. That is the missing puzzle piece.
Without God, I will ALWAYS fail. There is nothing in my life I can "handle" by myself. I ALWAYS need help, either a subtle push in the right direction, or a boot to the head screaming "What are you doing!!!"
"I was lost, but now I am found, was blind but now I see." Such blatant TRUTH in the words to the hymn "Amazing Grace". I WAS lost, but now I AM found. Like the lone, lost lamb that the Good Shepherd went out of His way to recover. Like the blind beggar which had his sight restored. I WAS blind, but NOW I CAN SEE.
I am ever thankful that I have been recovered, that my eyes have been opened. I can never repay that, but I will spend the rest of my life (and after-life) praising God for His mercies.
Dear Heavenly Father, thank You for showing me that I am powerless in my own ways. Thank You for finding me and giving me Your sight. Thank you for clearing the pathways to Joy. Father I am very thankful for ALL You do for me, Without you, my life is selfishly meaningless. Help me to live my life for You, now and everyday.