Tuesday, July 17, 2012

Against the wind

Philippians 3:13, 14 (NASB)
“…but one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and reaching forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.”

“ 'Cause I struggle with forward motion 
I struggle with forward motion 
We all struggle with forward motion 
'Cause forward motion is harder than it sounds 
Well every time I gain some ground 
I gotta turn myself around again 
It's harder than it sounds 
Well every time I gain some ground 
I gotta turn myself around again”

Forward Motion by Relient K lyrics © Universal Music Publishing Group      
Forgetting what lies behind.  Reaching forward.  Pressing on toward the goal.  The Prize.

Personal history is the single greatest hindrance (personal opinion) to growth and progress.  Remembering where I have been, what I have done, reviewing and mourning the mistakes I have made, and holding on to it all.  Trying to pick up the pieces and get moving again feels like walking against the wind sometimes.  Two steps forward, one (or three) step(s) back.

I need to release the past so I can experience the future.  There is a saying from my last job: “shots down range can’t be recalled.”  Once that bullet leaves the barrel, you can do nothing further with it.  Let it go and concentrate on the next shot.

That is pretty much what Paul is saying here.  The past is the past, deal with the now and future.  These are things you can affect. 

The past and my harboring it has held me back in forward progress.  It is all released.  I am stepping out in faith and leaning forward.  I need to get the momentum started in the right direction since: “a body in rest tends to stay at rest, and a body in motion tends to stay in motion, unless the body is compelled to change its state”. (Newton’s first law of motion).

There is truly a prize in my future for which I am aiming, and she is as beautiful now as when I first fell in love with her 18 years ago.  There might be a distance between us today, but every day I pray that it gets smaller until we are where we need to be: together again.

Today’s happenings:
  • Flying home to Alpine, TX (via Midland Airport from Houston Hobby)
  • Communicating with my wife (just texts since she is still vacationing and I respect her time)
  • Planning the rest of the week's activities:
  •      Need to figure out what is up with return to work
         Schedule place to stay Thursday-Sunday in Midland for chemo treatment
         Lots of mail (and bills I am sure) to go through
         Need to exercise this week!!! Even just a walk.
Selfish Prayer items:
  • My complete healing from cancer in colon and liver and wherever else it may be lurking
  • My relationship with my Wife, for complete reconciliation of the relationship
  • My children, for protection and health-I love them dearly and need to be with them