Wednesday, July 25, 2012

It is official!

July 25 "Officially" marks my 2 months out of work anniversary.  Oh, I still have a job.  I am on "sick leave" due to seeking treatment for my ailment.  This is the longest period in my adult life where I have not been "productive."  It is a bit madding as Thomas Hardy would say.

My days have no schedule.  Well, I am pretty consistent still even though I don't need to be.  I wake between 6am and 8am (though I have started aiming earlier to help someone else who is trying to start getting up earlier.  First thing after killing my alarm clock, turning on a light, and seeing to bodily functions is to read wisdom: reading a daily chapter of the Book of Proverbs in the Bible.  Just helps me to start my day on the right foot, looking for the right in the crazy mixed up society in which we live.

After that, maybe a shower and shave (if I feel like shaving, since I do not have to these days) will follow.  I have never really been huge on breakfast, but I will at least drink water and have a  bagel if I have any or some yogurt.  Then I will aimlessly surf the web for a couple hours and cap the day off by reading.  If I am feeling motivated, I might try going for a run/walk to get some physical activity (much needed I must add).  I have been trying to avoid TV and DVDs since they require no level of interaction just mind numbing droning.

The hardest part of the whole situation is the lack of being intellectually engaged in something that matters.  Don't get me wrong, my current position at work does not require much "engagement," but at least there is some busy work the requires a bit of thought (creating pay period and daily schedules is sort of like Sudoku, it had to be just right).  I really need a project.  I need to get back to work, preferably in a location where my unique skill set will force me to be crazy busy with research, testing, and documenting.  Yes, I am a geek in the realm of my career field.

In my much younger days (I have been working more or less in the field since 1989), I was more of the Operator type: the guy out there doing the job, kicking in doors, ready to jump.  In the past few years, I have tried to transition more to the administrative/supervisory side of things.  I worked at my department's training academy for about 3 years, and came out of it with the desire to continue in the soft-skills area of my field.  I would have no qualms about returning to my former position (which I am trying to do since it is just about the only thing that fits the description of what my Dr. says I can do), or going to Washington, DC and working in the administrative environment there.

DC would be a bit difficult financially for me and would require locating a new Dr (which I would rather not do).  My former position, which not where I currently reside would allow me to continue with my current Dr and not add any mileage to the trip I already take every other week for treatment (still an inconvenient 170 miles away).

Either way, I need to be intellectually stimulated by a challenge.

That is probably a secondary reason for why I started blogging.  First, of course, was to help channel my thoughts and emotions concerning this new path in life on which I have embarked .  Then there is catharsis of releasing all these things.  But the challenge (especially jumping in late to UBC and playing catch up) of taking the time to write at least daily what I feel, think, or what is going on in my life is wonderful.

I had never been a writer as a youth (neither was I a public speaker).  I wasn't good at it and had little desire to hone the craft.  This is ironic since my first chosen area of study I was pursuing in college was biologist and  would have required a lot of writing.  It wasn't until I was in the military that I was placed in a position where I needed to create written reports which needed to be coherent.  I learned a lot through writing a myriad traffic accident investigative reports.  I was given several assignments to create a curriculum for "Safety Days" where we could present custom tailored courses to units of varying length (this also forced me to become a public speaker, since I also presented these courses).

In the position I held just prior to my current, I wrote all the time.  I conducted studies on the efficacy of a certain computer-based testing platform we were looking at in comparison to a product which was being forced on us.  I reviewed and rewrote portion of our major curriculum package (it is dry reading, trust me).  I maintain the currency of our post completion training curriculum.  I did a lot of writing and presenting of ideas on a high level: reports I authored and submitted would frequently end up high in the organizational food chain.

About the only issues I really ever had were telephone calls (which I loath).  I can do them, just PLEASE no conference calls.  The big issue I have is when we are discussing something of which I hold a strong opinion, and someone disagrees with me but cannot articulate why they disagree.  I have been know to be "snarky" and my tone of voice changes to a more condescending one.  I have been called out on this and make a concerted effort to address it.

In all, I just need to get back to work!  There is a certain level of social interaction I am missing as well.  I don't leave the house much these days.  At work, there was at least conversation.  An added bonus would be supplementing the base pay I receive on "sick leave" with some of the premium pay or which I qualify since it would go a long way towards assisting with the pile of medical bills.

Hmmm, for someone who never was a writer, I just dropped over a 1,000 words with little or no effort.


  1. Consider writing a book about your experiences. It will keep you engaged. (Yes, the blog is one way to start that process)

  2. Thanks Dr. I think the blog will be enough for now.